Call dibs on your favorite spots early in the relationship to avoid awkwardness, or a few breakups later, the only place you can drink safely is at the worst Dirty Sixth has to offer.
Good luck fitting that date in around homeboy’s woodworking schedule.
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Social sports leagues are incredibly incestuous, and you could make an incredibly complex diagram mapping out how the pitcher from I’d Kick That has hooked up with Ballsagna’s entire infield. And your dealer actually moonlights as a matchmaker. Get ready, because there are a lot of margaritas and Embassy Suites overnighters in your future. And if that lettuce didn’t come from a local farm, you’re sooo not getting laid.* Tyson Cole is literally the only thing keeping relationships alive.
Yes, you will pay $17 for a salad, because it comes with a side of dates. Hope you’ve got a vegan, gluten-free, kosher spot on lock.
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